MEDITATION
Although it is embarrassing and painful, it is very healing to stop hiding from yourself. It is healing to know all the ways that you’re sneaky, all the ways that you hide out, all the ways that you shut down, deny, close off, criticize people, all your weird little ways. You can know all that with some sense of humor and kindness. By knowing yourself, you’re coming to know humanness altogether. We are all up against these things. We are all in this together.
— Pema Chodron
What I offer:
If you are interested in learning to meditate, or have been meditating for some time but are needing inspiration, support, or guidance, you may benefit from one-on-one sessions. The sessions include a mindful tuning in - a way of utilizing the mind of meditation to enter into a deeper than ordinary state of awareness about how you are feeling - and from there the session unfolds. Depending on your background, experience, and goals, sessions may include instruction in the nuts and bolts of how to meditate, how to build and maintain a meditation practice, guidance in a practice and a debrief afterwards, discussion of any challenges that are coming up for you in your practice (e.g., you get very sleepy when you practice, you are lacking inspiration to practice, you don’t know what practice to do or how to structure it), or any challenges you may be having in your life (e.g., feeling anxious about an upcoming interview, feeling uncertain about your relationship, etc), and how meditation may be a support for whatever you are going through. When the sessions are done remotely (at present all meditation sessions are conducted remotely), if you wish, the sessions may be recorded for your use afterwards. Readings are often recommended to support the practice. If you have never meditated before and are looking for an introduction to the practice, weekly sessions for three months are recommended to begin to build a foundation.
Of the various ways that people describe what meditation is, one of my favorites goes like this — meditation is making friends with your mind.
So often, when the mind is full of worries about what might happen in the future, or continuously repeating what happened in the past, or filled with anxiety, comparisons, envy, frustrations — it can feel as if our mind is anything but a friend. The practice of meditation is a way of getting to know this thing we call “mind” and actually becoming friends with it.
There is a story from the Buddhist meditation tradition:
As we go through life, we are constantly faced with things we don’t like, things that bother us: that annoying person who always interrupts; the horrible smell wafting into our home; the loud jack hammer early in the morning; the food is too cold; the lights are too bright; the computer just broke down; the long line to get into the store; and on and on…. All of these troubles, these bothers, can be thought of as pieces of broken glass on the ground, and it is as if we are walking barefoot, feeling every single shard of glass, piercing into us. One way to remedy this problem would be to get a fine grade of smooth leather, and begin to cover the ground, so that we would never have to feel the pain of those shards of broken glass ever again. How lovely that would be! No more annoying people, bad smells, unwelcome sounds, long lines… we could just cover the entire ground with leather! But, as the 8th century Buddhist monk and scholar Shantideva asks:
Where would I find enough leather
To cover the entire surface of the earth?
So instead of doing that, what if we were to simply cover the soles of our feet with leather? In other words, shoes! Then we could be able to withstand all the sharp pieces of broken glass without so much pain and suffering. As Shantideva says:
But with leather soles beneath my feet,
It’s as if the whole world has been covered.
The “shoes” in this story are analogous to our meditation practice. It protects us. When we meditate, we are “covering our bare feet with leather” - i.e., we are protecting ourselves, through cultivating our minds and hearts with meditation, to help us navigate all the experiences of life, including the ones that might have otherwise cut us to pieces.
One of the most common misconceptions about meditation that I have heard people say is: “I can’t meditate because I just can’t stop thinking. I can’t empty my mind.” Spoiler alert — meditation is not about not thinking or emptying your mind of thoughts. It’s not! On the contrary, it is about watching our minds, watching our thoughts as they come and go, and becoming less identified with the thoughts that pass through the mind - i.e., relating to them differently.
Over time, the practice of meditation helps us to get to know ourselves, and ultimately, to get to know reality, more clearly. The longer we can stay present with what is actually happening with us, the more we get to know how our mind works, and the greater possibility we have to be less gripped by these unconscious habits of mind.
The benefits of meditation are almost too numerous to mention here specifically. But from the research, traditional literature and my own experience I will assert that meditation is perhaps one of the most powerful tools one can use to alleviate the unnecessary suffering one experiences in life - regardless of the cause.
There are many different kinds of meditation techniques, and they vary greatly. My meditation practice is most strongly rooted in the Buddhist tradition, and my teaching includes mindfulness and compassion practices, including the practice known as metta or loving kindness meditation.